Thoughts from Jeff
April 2017
Trust creates intimacy; intimacy nurtures hope; hope leads to the fulfillment of dreams; and dreams create the environment in which love and joy can flourish.
A man had always been plagued by an inability to get a good night’s sleep. It started in childhood with a fear that there was a monster under his bed. Falling asleep became a challenge. On those nights he did fall asleep he would often wake in a fright. This problem persisted into adulthood when his doctor told him his inability to sleep well was elevating his blood-pressure, reducing his ability to concentrate, and resulting in general fatigue.
One evening the man met a psychologist at a party. He told the psychologist about his inability to sleep well and the problems it was causing. The psychologist was certain his fears were causing more than just the health problems the man named. He suspected the man likely also had relational problems. The psychologist told the man that his fear likely restricted his ability to trust, receive love and be vulnerable. The man wanted to know if the psychologist could solve his problems. The psychologist felt confident he could help but told the man they’d have to meet, talk about his childhood and delve into his past. The man wanted to know how long it would take and how much it would cost. Six months to a year and $2,000 to $5,000, came the answer.
A year or so later the two bumped into each other on the street. The psychologist remembered their conversation and asked about his fear of monsters under the bed. The fella said that he had solved his sleep problem. The man explained that the day after they first met, he relayed their conversation to his brother-in-law. His brother-in-law said that for ten dollars he’d do what the psychologist said would take a year and $5,000. After pocketing the ten dollars the brother-in-law said, “Go home and saw the legs off your bed.” It was a pragmatic, fast, cheap but superficial solution.
In an early Star Wars movie Yoda suggests that we do well to be cautious of fear. He counselled that the fears of our lives must be addressed. Yoda insisted that fear leads to anger, anger develops into hate and hate makes evil possible. Fear on the surface might appear benign or a mere nuisance, but at its depths can develop into evil. The Christian tradition could be said to offer a parallel series: trust creates intimacy; intimacy nurtures hope; hope leads to the fulfillment of dreams; and dreams create the environment in which love and joy can flourish.
Going beyond surface assessments and solutions, can empower us to intentionally reflect more deeply on our lives - including our fears. Or correspondingly, when we explore and develop trust, we create the environment in which trust can grow. As a result, in our lives and in our world, there can be deeper trust that leads to intimacy, hope, the fulfillment of dreams, love and joy.
Our culture is eager to see the simple cause and look for the quick fix. Thoughtfulness, options and accuracy usually suffer.
To go deeper in terms of our understanding of ourselves, of others, of life and of God requires time and effort. Generally, it is time and effort well spent.
One evening the man met a psychologist at a party. He told the psychologist about his inability to sleep well and the problems it was causing. The psychologist was certain his fears were causing more than just the health problems the man named. He suspected the man likely also had relational problems. The psychologist told the man that his fear likely restricted his ability to trust, receive love and be vulnerable. The man wanted to know if the psychologist could solve his problems. The psychologist felt confident he could help but told the man they’d have to meet, talk about his childhood and delve into his past. The man wanted to know how long it would take and how much it would cost. Six months to a year and $2,000 to $5,000, came the answer.
A year or so later the two bumped into each other on the street. The psychologist remembered their conversation and asked about his fear of monsters under the bed. The fella said that he had solved his sleep problem. The man explained that the day after they first met, he relayed their conversation to his brother-in-law. His brother-in-law said that for ten dollars he’d do what the psychologist said would take a year and $5,000. After pocketing the ten dollars the brother-in-law said, “Go home and saw the legs off your bed.” It was a pragmatic, fast, cheap but superficial solution.
In an early Star Wars movie Yoda suggests that we do well to be cautious of fear. He counselled that the fears of our lives must be addressed. Yoda insisted that fear leads to anger, anger develops into hate and hate makes evil possible. Fear on the surface might appear benign or a mere nuisance, but at its depths can develop into evil. The Christian tradition could be said to offer a parallel series: trust creates intimacy; intimacy nurtures hope; hope leads to the fulfillment of dreams; and dreams create the environment in which love and joy can flourish.
Going beyond surface assessments and solutions, can empower us to intentionally reflect more deeply on our lives - including our fears. Or correspondingly, when we explore and develop trust, we create the environment in which trust can grow. As a result, in our lives and in our world, there can be deeper trust that leads to intimacy, hope, the fulfillment of dreams, love and joy.
Our culture is eager to see the simple cause and look for the quick fix. Thoughtfulness, options and accuracy usually suffer.
To go deeper in terms of our understanding of ourselves, of others, of life and of God requires time and effort. Generally, it is time and effort well spent.
March 2017
“One of the most important steps to achieving your greatest potential in life is to learn to monitor your attitude and its impact on your work, your relationships and everything around you.” ...Keith Harrel
It has been suggested that “Attitude is Everything”. The attitude we adopt with respect to each and every situation that occurs in our lives makes a huge difference in the lives we lead.
A worker at a large corporation was told that he needed to achieve a dramatic increase in his productivity. If he failed to achieve that level within two weeks, the company would lay him off. Initially, he was shocked and overwhelmed. He took this news as a threat and a personal slight – his efforts were obviously not appreciated and his work even disparaged. He even began to feel someone wanted him out after he had given so much to this company for so many years. The weight of it all pulled him down and in his depression he found himself thinking: “I might as well just quit now”. That thought was only scuttled by the realization that it would jeopardize his severance package. So he decided he’d just ‘put in’ the two weeks while brushing up his resume and seeing what other jobs were out there. After a day or two he began to appreciate the position he had held with this company for so many years. He slowly considered the productivity level that was being asked of him. He thought about the kinds of changes or adjustments he’d have to make to meet those requirements in a 37.5 hour work week. Soon enough he was seeing the new requirements as a challenge rather than an indictment. The idea that this might be personal faded. In fact he started to see the company’s perspective and what they were hoping to achieve. This new emerging attitude became empowering and led to ideas and an opportunity to rework his job. He even felt that if he wasn’t able to do what was asked of him, this might become an opportunity to move on to a better job. So, no matter what the outcome, this unwelcome challenge caused him to develop a greater appreciation for the work he did for this company and perhaps could do with another company. The whole experience took days to evolve, but with hindsight he could see how his attitude had changed and his depression disappeared and he felt uplifted. Beginning, at first blush, from an attitude where he felt like a victim who was personally attacked, unappreciated and depressed, he transformed into a participant and maybe even a hero where his attitude enabled him to be engaged, to feel empowered and even inspired. The experience made him determined that the next time such a circumstance arose he would intentionally step back and reflect on his emotions, consider alternate perspectives and even embrace hope.
Even the pain we experience in life can be transformed by an attitude that is grateful, hopeful, and recognizes our individual power.
Two related thoughts to ponder:
“Humour is a rich and versatile source of power – a spiritual resource very like prayer.” Marilyn R. Chandler
Romans 5:1-5
Peace and Hope
5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
A worker at a large corporation was told that he needed to achieve a dramatic increase in his productivity. If he failed to achieve that level within two weeks, the company would lay him off. Initially, he was shocked and overwhelmed. He took this news as a threat and a personal slight – his efforts were obviously not appreciated and his work even disparaged. He even began to feel someone wanted him out after he had given so much to this company for so many years. The weight of it all pulled him down and in his depression he found himself thinking: “I might as well just quit now”. That thought was only scuttled by the realization that it would jeopardize his severance package. So he decided he’d just ‘put in’ the two weeks while brushing up his resume and seeing what other jobs were out there. After a day or two he began to appreciate the position he had held with this company for so many years. He slowly considered the productivity level that was being asked of him. He thought about the kinds of changes or adjustments he’d have to make to meet those requirements in a 37.5 hour work week. Soon enough he was seeing the new requirements as a challenge rather than an indictment. The idea that this might be personal faded. In fact he started to see the company’s perspective and what they were hoping to achieve. This new emerging attitude became empowering and led to ideas and an opportunity to rework his job. He even felt that if he wasn’t able to do what was asked of him, this might become an opportunity to move on to a better job. So, no matter what the outcome, this unwelcome challenge caused him to develop a greater appreciation for the work he did for this company and perhaps could do with another company. The whole experience took days to evolve, but with hindsight he could see how his attitude had changed and his depression disappeared and he felt uplifted. Beginning, at first blush, from an attitude where he felt like a victim who was personally attacked, unappreciated and depressed, he transformed into a participant and maybe even a hero where his attitude enabled him to be engaged, to feel empowered and even inspired. The experience made him determined that the next time such a circumstance arose he would intentionally step back and reflect on his emotions, consider alternate perspectives and even embrace hope.
Even the pain we experience in life can be transformed by an attitude that is grateful, hopeful, and recognizes our individual power.
Two related thoughts to ponder:
“Humour is a rich and versatile source of power – a spiritual resource very like prayer.” Marilyn R. Chandler
Romans 5:1-5
Peace and Hope
5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
February 2017
“Be still sad heart! And cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining?
Thy fate is the common fate of all;
Into each life some rain must fall.
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining?
Thy fate is the common fate of all;
Into each life some rain must fall.
This is a stanza from Henry Longfellow’s poem “The Rainy Day”. It offers encouragement in those moments when we feel discouraged or depressed. The poem suggests there is wisdom gained by widening our perspective.
There is no shortage of events, thoughts and obstacles which can surface for us in the living of life. These can cause us to lose perspective, to feel like giving up, and tempt us to adopt a fatalistic or indifferent attitude. These things can be the precursor to full-blown depression. This can be especially so in the dead of winter. It might even be suggested that not just for those diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), but for many of us, the winter can have a depressive effect on our mood. Perhaps that’s one reason Bell’s “Let’s Talk” campaign runs at this time of year.
Whether it is a lack of energy, the feeling that a pall has been cast over our lives, or we just feel more irritable at this time of year, it is important to be aware. Our awareness can be the first step toward a genuine response to our feelings, rather than a reaction or a withdrawal. Even yet, we may feel the urge to offer the sentiment thrown out by disaffected young people, “Whatever.” This sentiment can emerge from within any time we feel our way is blocked or that others are not accepting us and our goals. That single word can suggest we are reluctantly succumbing to the circumstances of life - as if we have no alternative. The most debilitating aspect of such a stance is that it can close us off into our individual pain, disappointment, and sense of fatigue and futility.
In response to the events, thoughts and obstacles that entice us to “throw in the towel” we might do well to access our faith tradition, especially the spiritually enlightened portions of that tradition that can provide encouragement. We can perhaps:
Beyond this tradition there are resources that can speak to our feelings. Some possibilities can be found on the following site: http://www.beliefnet.com/wellness/health/10-inspiring-quotes-for-a-depressed-heart.aspx?p=7
Our tradition is deep and our connection to the Divine expansive. May it be that we can find within and beyond, that of God, which lifts us and at times even carries us.
There is no shortage of events, thoughts and obstacles which can surface for us in the living of life. These can cause us to lose perspective, to feel like giving up, and tempt us to adopt a fatalistic or indifferent attitude. These things can be the precursor to full-blown depression. This can be especially so in the dead of winter. It might even be suggested that not just for those diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), but for many of us, the winter can have a depressive effect on our mood. Perhaps that’s one reason Bell’s “Let’s Talk” campaign runs at this time of year.
Whether it is a lack of energy, the feeling that a pall has been cast over our lives, or we just feel more irritable at this time of year, it is important to be aware. Our awareness can be the first step toward a genuine response to our feelings, rather than a reaction or a withdrawal. Even yet, we may feel the urge to offer the sentiment thrown out by disaffected young people, “Whatever.” This sentiment can emerge from within any time we feel our way is blocked or that others are not accepting us and our goals. That single word can suggest we are reluctantly succumbing to the circumstances of life - as if we have no alternative. The most debilitating aspect of such a stance is that it can close us off into our individual pain, disappointment, and sense of fatigue and futility.
In response to the events, thoughts and obstacles that entice us to “throw in the towel” we might do well to access our faith tradition, especially the spiritually enlightened portions of that tradition that can provide encouragement. We can perhaps:
- appreciate we are not alone (John 14:20);
- find the encouragement to respond (2 Corinthians 4:16-18); and
- move into an acceptance that’s not defeat, but trust (Philippians 4:6-8).
Beyond this tradition there are resources that can speak to our feelings. Some possibilities can be found on the following site: http://www.beliefnet.com/wellness/health/10-inspiring-quotes-for-a-depressed-heart.aspx?p=7
Our tradition is deep and our connection to the Divine expansive. May it be that we can find within and beyond, that of God, which lifts us and at times even carries us.
Prayer: Divine Spirit, meet me in my need; help me respond and trust with wisdom through you. May it be so. AMEN.
January 2017
“It has been said that “the world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to their idealized past.”
January is commonly recognized as a time for beginnings, even though the New Year falls in the dead of winter with the inertia that winter often carries. In the past, beginnings at this time of year were often seen as personal decisions through which we could adjust aspects of our lives. We hoped to thus create a better future. Empowered to make such selections, we assumed the world around us would change only incrementally and unnoticeably. The changes we envisioned were often captured in New Year’s Resolutions.
Nowadays, with each passing year, it can feel as if change isn’t something we choose at all. Instead it feels thrust upon us. Whether it is governments or companies, technology or politics, social movements or fashion we can feel not merely pressure but that complying is mandatory. Feeling we have little choice, we can sense that any resistance is futile. If, unlike others, we choose to preserve familiar ways, to not keep up and remain unchanged, there can be a sense that we are being left behind, separated from our evolving world, or that we are disengaging. Orphaned, isolated and alone this sense of disconnection can cause us to feel as if we are now merely distant spectators or relics of the past.
In the midst of such realities here are three insights. These may help us feel again that time when we were confident in the powers we had to shape our lives through our choices.
Famous author of western novels, Louis L’Amour said, “There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning”.
Nowadays, with each passing year, it can feel as if change isn’t something we choose at all. Instead it feels thrust upon us. Whether it is governments or companies, technology or politics, social movements or fashion we can feel not merely pressure but that complying is mandatory. Feeling we have little choice, we can sense that any resistance is futile. If, unlike others, we choose to preserve familiar ways, to not keep up and remain unchanged, there can be a sense that we are being left behind, separated from our evolving world, or that we are disengaging. Orphaned, isolated and alone this sense of disconnection can cause us to feel as if we are now merely distant spectators or relics of the past.
In the midst of such realities here are three insights. These may help us feel again that time when we were confident in the powers we had to shape our lives through our choices.
- First, and perhaps most importantly, change is a constant. We are unquestionably in a time of rapid change. Years ago change probably felt more manageable. By embracing this reality and acknowledging the changes we decide to embrace or adapt to can be uplifting. We can see then that we are actually keeping up more than we had assumed.
- Second, leaning on the expertise and interests of others can be helpful. Not only does such assistance enable us to move with the times more effectively, we are less likely to be overwhelmed and more able to adjust at our own pace.
- Finally, we can realize and appreciate that we are not alone. Others are in similar circumstances and have similar feelings. What’s more, the spiritual dimension to life reminds us to remain calm knowing that peace equals power. Nurturing this sense of peace is best felt in personal ways, with others and through community.
Famous author of western novels, Louis L’Amour said, “There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning”.
December 2016
"Christmas, why the very mention of it sets our hearts aglow"
"Christmas, why the very mention of it sets our hearts aglow". Charles Dickens made this observation over 150 years ago as he lived and wrote in London, England. That sentiment was probably more profound, conveyed more truth, and was more accurate for a larger percentage of the population in the 1850s than it is in 2016. And yet there are still many today for whom the Christmas season is perfectly expressed by Dickens’ quote. However, there is also a growing number for whom the neutral or negative aspects of the season are on the increase. If it isn’t the anticipated financial hangover from having succumbed to the pressure to purchase more items, better items, for more people, then it is the stress of meeting other similarly swelling expectations. If we aren’t careful the social engagements, the decorating, the cooking, the gifting and the festivities can overwhelm us. And increasingly for many, amidst the cheerfulness they are expected to exude, their personal losses or limitations become even more magnified. So it is that at this time of year the fatigue, disappointment and even despair can surprisingly be extremely profound for many of us.
We need, if not an antidote, then at the least, a means by which to enlarge our perspective. Such a perspective will empower us to almost effortlessly make adjustments to our attitude and lived experience. The suggestion that we ourselves ought to better manage our finances, or our time, or the influences we allow to impose unrealistic expectations on us, only adds yet another additional pressure. Focusing on love – love given and love received - can be precisely what is needed. When we allow love of self, of others, of God (of life) to be our center point we are creating a new world for ourselves and others. It is a world marked by relationships in the embrace of love. It is a world in which we can more graciously admit our limitations and our heartaches without being dominated or overcome by them. An integral part of this world is its vision of life beyond our own personal perception of reality. It is a world created through love, expressed in the simplest of forms, with little expense and which genuinely conveys care, concern or compassion. It is truly a world that we celebrate, even as we create it. It is a world, for us seen through Jesus, where our hearts can truly be set aglow.
May such a world of love, such an inner world, such a shared world, such a world of God, be experienced by us not only at Christmas but throughout the entire year.
We need, if not an antidote, then at the least, a means by which to enlarge our perspective. Such a perspective will empower us to almost effortlessly make adjustments to our attitude and lived experience. The suggestion that we ourselves ought to better manage our finances, or our time, or the influences we allow to impose unrealistic expectations on us, only adds yet another additional pressure. Focusing on love – love given and love received - can be precisely what is needed. When we allow love of self, of others, of God (of life) to be our center point we are creating a new world for ourselves and others. It is a world marked by relationships in the embrace of love. It is a world in which we can more graciously admit our limitations and our heartaches without being dominated or overcome by them. An integral part of this world is its vision of life beyond our own personal perception of reality. It is a world created through love, expressed in the simplest of forms, with little expense and which genuinely conveys care, concern or compassion. It is truly a world that we celebrate, even as we create it. It is a world, for us seen through Jesus, where our hearts can truly be set aglow.
May such a world of love, such an inner world, such a shared world, such a world of God, be experienced by us not only at Christmas but throughout the entire year.
October 2016
"Nurturing Gratitude"
Piero Ferrucci[1] tells the story of his school aged son who had saved money to buy a model airplane kit. Upon opening the box he got a disappointing surprise. The box was magnificent - the contents were not. The materials were poor quality and the instructions were unclear. The youngster felt he had been ripped-off and abandoned the project he had been so excited to start.
Most of us can understand the boy’s feelings. We too can become infuriated when bad quality is presented as good. Ferrucci said he didn’t know what to do to console his son. He thought about reimbursing the boy the money he’d saved to buy the kit and even considered buying him one of better quality. Not sure what to do, he ended up doing nothing.
Ferrucci said he was ultimately glad he hadn’t done anything because a few days later his son’s friend was in their home and saw the open box of unassembled airplanes.
The friend exclaimed, “Wow. What beautiful planes! Fabulous colours and amazing decals! Boy, are you lucky! How come you haven’t assembled them yet?”
Ferrucci watched his son as this unfolded. He could see the wheels turning and how his son’s gratitude quotient rose dramatically. Soon the boys were working on the models. It suddenly didn’t matter that the quality was mediocre and they didn’t even use the instructions. It wasn’t long before they were in the backyard flying the assembled planes. What was once considered a rip-off and therefore discarded had become a treasure and a source of joy.
Ferrucci in telling this story wondered how we could do the same with our own versions of the discarded planes. Research in the past twenty years has demonstrated that gratitude not only improves our mood and psychological outlook on life but it can also: serve as an antidote to depression; enhance our relationships; and even improve our physical health. And, it is a response to life that can be learned. Brene Brown[2] in her research has discovered that joyful people know the importance of being grateful in any and every situation and describe it as a spiritual practice. It is a simple matter of building gratitude into our lives. At first it may feel like an imposed personal requirement but it can become a good habit and eventually it can even be reflective of a deeper orientation.
May it be so for each of us.
___________________________________
[1] Piero Ferrucci is a psychotherapist and a philosopher. He graduated from the University of Torino in 1970. He was trained by Roberto Assagioli, the founder of psychosynthesis, and has written several books including:
Most of us can understand the boy’s feelings. We too can become infuriated when bad quality is presented as good. Ferrucci said he didn’t know what to do to console his son. He thought about reimbursing the boy the money he’d saved to buy the kit and even considered buying him one of better quality. Not sure what to do, he ended up doing nothing.
Ferrucci said he was ultimately glad he hadn’t done anything because a few days later his son’s friend was in their home and saw the open box of unassembled airplanes.
The friend exclaimed, “Wow. What beautiful planes! Fabulous colours and amazing decals! Boy, are you lucky! How come you haven’t assembled them yet?”
Ferrucci watched his son as this unfolded. He could see the wheels turning and how his son’s gratitude quotient rose dramatically. Soon the boys were working on the models. It suddenly didn’t matter that the quality was mediocre and they didn’t even use the instructions. It wasn’t long before they were in the backyard flying the assembled planes. What was once considered a rip-off and therefore discarded had become a treasure and a source of joy.
Ferrucci in telling this story wondered how we could do the same with our own versions of the discarded planes. Research in the past twenty years has demonstrated that gratitude not only improves our mood and psychological outlook on life but it can also: serve as an antidote to depression; enhance our relationships; and even improve our physical health. And, it is a response to life that can be learned. Brene Brown[2] in her research has discovered that joyful people know the importance of being grateful in any and every situation and describe it as a spiritual practice. It is a simple matter of building gratitude into our lives. At first it may feel like an imposed personal requirement but it can become a good habit and eventually it can even be reflective of a deeper orientation.
May it be so for each of us.
___________________________________
[1] Piero Ferrucci is a psychotherapist and a philosopher. He graduated from the University of Torino in 1970. He was trained by Roberto Assagioli, the founder of psychosynthesis, and has written several books including:
- What We May Be: The Vision and Techniques of Psychosynthesis
- Inevitable Grace
- What Our Children Teach Us
- The Power of Kindness
- Beauty and the Soul
- Your Inner Will
- The Gifts of Imperfection
- Daring Greatly
- Rising Strong
May 2016
"Give thanks in all circumstances"
I Thessalonians 5:18
I Thessalonians 5:18
John Wooden became one of the most revered coaches in the history of basketball. Early in his career when coaching High School boys, Wooden created a rule that he required his young players to follow. The rule was simple: every time a player scored he was to express “thanks” to the individual or teammates who had assisted in scoring.
Naturally, some of the players thought this ‘thanks’ rule was silly. They complained it wasn’t necessary, suggesting it would take too much time away from the game and would distract them from the next play which would already be unfolding. Wooden insisted a simple gesture like a nod, a thumbs up, or a wink would take them less than a second and that the overall impact on them as individuals and as a team would be significant.
Wooden believed that if you don’t show your appreciation to others, they’d not really know their contributions are important and appreciated. Without recognition, people start to pull back - both from performing and from cooperating with others. And on a personal level the expression of gratitude nurtures in the giver a sense of his dependence on his teammates. The common illusion that a single player is totally responsible for what occurs is counteracted by this recognition of others.
So it is for us in life. The expression of gratitude is a key element not only for our social and personal success and fulfillment, but also for our emotional, spiritual and relational maturity. In time Coach Wooden’s players made expressing thanks a habit and soon gratitude became a core value for them as teammates and as young men. Gratitude toward others, toward life, toward God and even a grateful appreciation of our own abilities has a huge impact on how we see life and how we see ourselves in life. This is so especially in terms of our own identity and our sense of being interconnected with the fullness of life.
Thanks for the opportunity to express these thoughts and thanks for reflecting on them.
March 2016
Living Wholeheartedly
In life we do well if we strive to live wholeheartedly – to live open and full lives. Here are three perspectives which encourage and support such a goal.
We often see such perspectives in song lyrics. The following instance has been adapted in a number of ways. The original words were written 29 years ago when Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh collaborated to write the song “Come from the Heart”. The lyrics insist that:
You’ve got to sing like you don’t need the money
Love like you’ll never get hurt
You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watching
It’s gotta come from the heart if you want it to work.
Another songwriter and artist, Paul Simon, offered a thought in his liner notes for his 2011 album: “So Beautiful, So What”. The liner notes have become perhaps more famous than any of the songs on the album. In the liner notes Simon said about life, “The trick is, as I know it, to care like hell and not give a damn at the same time.”
Parenting writer Glennon Doyle Melton in her book “Carry On Warrior”, talks about the benefits of not allowing fear or shame to keep us in hiding. Rather than hide she insists there are great benefits in, as she says, ‘living out loud.’ She clarifies the thought saying, “Folks who are able to live out loud do it because they’ve learned that we’re all pretty much the same. My feelings and desires, the mistakes I’ve made – they’re likely shared by millions. Living out loud does not mean sharing everything, it is not synonymous with ‘telling it like it is’. Nobody tells it like it is, we each tell it how we see it, with all our prejudices and little insanities – so to live out loud kindly, we have to be humble about our blind spots. We also have to be careful not to live anybody else’s life out loud, because that’s not true and it’s not fair. Each person’s story is their own to tell. Living out loud authentically takes a great amount of kindness and respect for the unique experiences and boundaries of others. When we live out loud, we must be brave and kind.”
Brene Brown in her work speaks of the tremendous health and difficult struggle of living wholehearted lives. Embracing the ideas outlined above is to live a vulnerability, an honesty and a mutuality that has the potential to enable compassion, empathy and connection. We need courage, but we also need help. It is the help we hopefully know through family and friends and which we can know in community, and should know in church.
We often see such perspectives in song lyrics. The following instance has been adapted in a number of ways. The original words were written 29 years ago when Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh collaborated to write the song “Come from the Heart”. The lyrics insist that:
You’ve got to sing like you don’t need the money
Love like you’ll never get hurt
You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watching
It’s gotta come from the heart if you want it to work.
Another songwriter and artist, Paul Simon, offered a thought in his liner notes for his 2011 album: “So Beautiful, So What”. The liner notes have become perhaps more famous than any of the songs on the album. In the liner notes Simon said about life, “The trick is, as I know it, to care like hell and not give a damn at the same time.”
Parenting writer Glennon Doyle Melton in her book “Carry On Warrior”, talks about the benefits of not allowing fear or shame to keep us in hiding. Rather than hide she insists there are great benefits in, as she says, ‘living out loud.’ She clarifies the thought saying, “Folks who are able to live out loud do it because they’ve learned that we’re all pretty much the same. My feelings and desires, the mistakes I’ve made – they’re likely shared by millions. Living out loud does not mean sharing everything, it is not synonymous with ‘telling it like it is’. Nobody tells it like it is, we each tell it how we see it, with all our prejudices and little insanities – so to live out loud kindly, we have to be humble about our blind spots. We also have to be careful not to live anybody else’s life out loud, because that’s not true and it’s not fair. Each person’s story is their own to tell. Living out loud authentically takes a great amount of kindness and respect for the unique experiences and boundaries of others. When we live out loud, we must be brave and kind.”
Brene Brown in her work speaks of the tremendous health and difficult struggle of living wholehearted lives. Embracing the ideas outlined above is to live a vulnerability, an honesty and a mutuality that has the potential to enable compassion, empathy and connection. We need courage, but we also need help. It is the help we hopefully know through family and friends and which we can know in community, and should know in church.
